MomMom, I Want One More Note (2018)

MomMom, I Want One More Note

August 2018

Whenever I had something looming over me, MomMom always offered to write me a note. It didn’t matter if it was a big test coming up or a life decision that was approaching, whenever I would talk with her, I would ask her to write me an excusal note, as if I could simply walk to the administrative office of life and get my name checked off of the list for whatever relatively small issue I had become preoccupied with at the time. And while everything seemed like such an insurmountable problem in the moment, time is a wonderful teacher. Time has shown me that, all things considered, there are bigger problems in life than a poor community soccer game performance or an embarrassing yearbook photo on fifth grade picture day. But no matter how small the problem, MomMom would offer to write me a note because if there was something that was important to me, then the one thing that I could count on was that it was extremely important to her. 

Time has also shown me that I always got through everything that seemed daunting over the years not because of any skill, strength, or wisdom of my own but because of the love of my family and those around me. And when I reflect on the love of those around me, there was not a stronger love than that which Mom-Mom showed to all of us.

Time is a wonderful teacher. And though goodbye feels insurmountable to me right now, I know that in the coming years I will look back and know that the only way I was able to handle this transition was because of the fact that I still feel her love in a very real way.

For the first time in my life, I’m faced with a situation where I can’t run straight to her and ask for a note. And yet, despite that, I know that I still have one. I used to think that notes only existed in writing, but now I know that memories are a better vessel than paper will ever be. Memories don’t rip. They don’t tear. They don’t fade in the sunlight. And as long as I hold on to them, I know that I’ll have a note signed by her for the rest for my life.